My tarot reading gave me what I needed - again. Those cards are amazing and I don't know how it happens but they hit the goal every time. Today the message with everything was that my desire for freedom is holding me in the reality while my ed might stiffen my spirit if I let it to. Furthermore I need to take life as it is, appreciate it as it comes and not beat myself up for loosing since we loose and win everyday. I'm scared that I won't get a job or that I'll be bad at it and I need to seek for balance and conscientiousness. Nothing earth braking but they just help to bring it all together.
My celebration was peaceful and so much fun anyway. I got a spring flue so the few hours at our party space with Ran and Bei was so enough. The bool did change color and I was talking with some history and astronomy students... I have no idea how did they found their way there in the first place.
I left with Ran and heard that she has a boyfriend too. Damn army... no I'm happy for her but part of me is thinking GREAT, I'm alone soon enough and I'm waiting for the day when everyone turns me down because of their men. Negativity? Hell yes. But I'm trying to figure this out that it's not about just my friend anymore, it's the other part too.
My party went on with Aya. Peacefully as said. We were avoiding the biggest people masses and having a cup of coffee at the river shore. Then we walked back and sat down on grass - I love it, it's just started to grow green. Then we proceeded at a bar to have more coffee. We were talking about stuff going on and gone... it's so good to have someone who shares the experience with ed. Her phase was differently drastic than mine but still that makes things so much easier when you don't need to play a translator with your feelings and try to make the other part understand.
We were also talking about boys and I made a pact with her. I need to ask my ex... yes, that jail ex, if I could spent a night at his house when I'm going to town. He's dating another at the moment so that shouldn't be too much of a problem but I just need to sort things out with him and talk. I need to know what's up, see what page are we on and move on with my life. He's always gonna be there in my mind if I don't deal with it and that means I'm never gonna find anyone I could truly be with if I can't let him go.
Now, heading to picknick.
My celebration was peaceful and so much fun anyway. I got a spring flue so the few hours at our party space with Ran and Bei was so enough. The bool did change color and I was talking with some history and astronomy students... I have no idea how did they found their way there in the first place.
I left with Ran and heard that she has a boyfriend too. Damn army... no I'm happy for her but part of me is thinking GREAT, I'm alone soon enough and I'm waiting for the day when everyone turns me down because of their men. Negativity? Hell yes. But I'm trying to figure this out that it's not about just my friend anymore, it's the other part too.My party went on with Aya. Peacefully as said. We were avoiding the biggest people masses and having a cup of coffee at the river shore. Then we walked back and sat down on grass - I love it, it's just started to grow green. Then we proceeded at a bar to have more coffee. We were talking about stuff going on and gone... it's so good to have someone who shares the experience with ed. Her phase was differently drastic than mine but still that makes things so much easier when you don't need to play a translator with your feelings and try to make the other part understand.
We were also talking about boys and I made a pact with her. I need to ask my ex... yes, that jail ex, if I could spent a night at his house when I'm going to town. He's dating another at the moment so that shouldn't be too much of a problem but I just need to sort things out with him and talk. I need to know what's up, see what page are we on and move on with my life. He's always gonna be there in my mind if I don't deal with it and that means I'm never gonna find anyone I could truly be with if I can't let him go.
Now, heading to picknick.
Ei kommentteja:
Lähetä kommentti