Cleaning the darmacloset

Sunny days are continuing. 

Bettytox (deviantart)

Yesterday I sorted out the drama with Yuki... her party wasn't so nice and that's why I got the vibe that she was mad at me when I saw her. But it wasn't me... thank god it wasn't me. Our London talk was good, she had calmed down and realized that our staying away from them had to be because of J. And that she more mad to Lu who couldn't suck her hatred up even a second just for her. I got that too, I was annoyed by it and that's why I left on my own because I wanted to be with Yuki there but I just couldn't leave Lu alone because Sheng might have gone with me and then Lu would have gotten mad for us too. 

   But it's talked out now. I still feel bad for that drama there and Yuki said it was good to hear that me and Sheng knew what was going on and that we just didn't go along Lu thinking everything is ok. And J... well she is in some kinda of trouble but she doesn't really talk. For me it came across like "I bite you before you bite me" kinda thing and I can deal with that. Those kinda people make me just want to hug them and ask "who did hurt you?" But she got so thick walls around her that I can't go in as a stranger and furthermore she got Yuki. The best I can do is support Yuki to support her.

   Then there was this Walburg's day drama about her boyfriend and J being here bitching. First Yuki's boy's ex came to tell that they has fucked last Thursday and that her boy was somehow emotionally bibolar. The next day this girl was going to Yan and Sheng to tell that they had fucked last Thursday and showed bruises on her arm saying that the boy did them. And on the same day J and her boy were bitching each other all the time to the point that J wanted to walk off and told Yuki to give her keys. No wonder she was bit weird when she saw me. 

imaginism (deviantart)

   First to that girl saying those things, I'm not buying it. To me that sounds like good old fashioned payback and a girl being jealous over the new girlfriend. But that shouldn't be looked down totally either. Player men are skillful and they can play well if they are good at what they do. I love the way Yuki is taking this. She said that "he has his past of hurting people and I don't like it but I can't change it. All I can do is hope that he has changed, believe what I see and feel and trust that. I want to take the risk and if he hurts me, well then I'm gonna hung him from his balls because I'm not the type that stays hanging in an unhealthy relationship." That's what I think too. It's just a rumor as long as there's no reason to think otherwise.

   

My day's eating was a bit off. I had half of a watermelon at 10am and the next time I realized around seven that I hadn't eat a thing - and to be reasonable that wasn't gonna do any good about my flu. And I wanted to sit down with Yuki and talk these things out bit more so we went to a sports bar that has huge portions. I took a steak ^^ and there was probably 1000 calories in that thing but hey, it was good and we got thing sorted out and despite that I lost a pound from yesterday. 

   And t mention that few days ago I hit the record of the whole year (upwards) and I'm trying not to think about it too much to avoid getting depressed which means bad cycle and more piled pounds. I'm still gonna get in those shorts by the September and buy a size smaller ones. ^^ Though I do feel bad for the broken promise to myself to fit in them already at London... and I didn't. But it makes it matter even more now.

By Dastrom-Photography (deviantart)

So in short things are getting back in the track.