This is the damn danger zone; feeling guilty and failed because I was able to eat normally at some point of my life and getting there again. Fucking stupid idea. There's nothing to fail there.Feeling drowsy because I don't know if I should start counting my weight loss from the Sunday (169.4 right after eating) night or Monday morning (167.4). Sunday would sure look better, but I fear it makes me feel safe somehow and leads to a
Monday... that could make me depressed... would? Seriously? 165.0... that's -2.4 from yesterday and I dare to say myself I'm not doing enough. So depending on counting style that's 2.4/4.4 loss all ready. Easy with these tons to go.
And to add, that's with no any exercise. I did 25 crunches at night, but that's so little that it doesn't count.
Yesterday we had this game night... we went to a bar with board games with us and had fun. At least the most of us... I wasn't really feeling it. Like the whole day.
I had fun, that's not the case... more like I was tired and wanted to spin around on the floor crying since I'm such a fat ass that it hurts. Saw Yan also. Don't know what to think, she said straight that she's fasting - at some level I'm jealous of her cuz she can say her doings so openly. And she's fasting! Till Saturday! And I could put my fingers around her thigh and I can see her hip bones. J E A L O U S ! ! ! and sososososossosooooo guilty for using her as my inspiration. It's awful when your friend is so much thinner than you and known to have eating problems and, and, and... I so could go on with this. Like for ever. She just looks so fucking gorgeus.
No idea where this energy is coming from again. It's not even full moon...
Waiting to get out and walk with Yuki.
Food report:Candy at work (oopps!! not in my plans)
An apple 10 am
Chicken salad; self made including chicken 100 g, lettuce xx amount, cucumber 2 inches, bean, corn, paprika mix 15g, leech 1 inch, two slides of cheese 60 calories and cherry tomatoes.
Another apple 4 pm
Yogurt 6 pm because we went to have coffee at Sheng and everyone was eating.
2 kommenttia:
wowza. <3 someone's losing Hell and i'm...still fat.
i also went -2,4lbs down from yesterday and nearly screamed at my scale and went all "YOU LIE TO ME."
babe. you'll get there. and you're not with her 24/7, so you don't know. she might binge. it's hard to fast from now til Saturday. and you'll get there. people who lose weight that fast don't keep it off for long anyway. :)
*comes from a person who did a week long fast* never again.
not even full moon? always knew you were a werewolf.
and that food report sounds good :) you're doing well! ^__^
-Sam Lupin
I was loosing... 0 from that today. That's what you get for being lazy, can't blame anyone but me.
She sure might... ^^ I'm feeling guilty for even thinking that, then I feeling guilty for hoping she'd pull that off. I know her, and I know she could. And even without anyone knowing... I've never fasted that long, and with my three days I can say too never ever again.
I'm a little lunatic. xD Always being over energetic an pulling crazy stunts, plans and so on.
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