Guilty but proud

Had a dream full of candy, greezy food in London with Yuki and almost missed the flight (not to speak about the plane flying low through the bushes...) But all the options with that, I woke up panicking over the candies, almost shouting that I didn't brake my promise not eat that stuff, I didn't! So right, I didn't... I was dreaming - and even in my dream I felt the fear, the panic of losing control and disappointing myself.

Yesterday I had

Cauliflower & Sweet potato herb soup ~200 (which was amazingly good, even though I made it)

Banana ~100

+ Hell a lot of coffee, 1 hot chocolate and one soda

Yuki came back from her friend she had visited and I had to go and see her at station. Where we proceeded to meeting number one to discuss about our student space renovation and after that we went to see how messy the space was after the Paleo-Olympics. Has to say that someone needs to clean up there... that mess wasn't from our party and it sucks when people leave it like that. But anyhow we took back some bottles and managed to break one bottle machine while doing so... oops! Maybe that 250 bottles was the critical line to it and it couldn't take us no more... or our 50 last bottles. 

   So I've been walking more than enough, but still only - 1.2 lbs drop from my Friday. (in reality it's probably more, I just didn't want to jump on scale yesterday to proof the failure - even it's now known as 4th March The day when I wrecked all the hard work for anything)

Yesterday we also ended up with the "academic mustache club" at a bar (buch of older students).... they actually invited us after the meeting two which was the regular organization meeting. I just wish we would get this shit sorted out Il has left to us with the economy. I hate to see Yuki so down... she stayed there yesterday, taking her third beer when I left. I'm kinda worried, there's something she's not saying for some reason. Or then the not telling about her thoughts to leave to this mustache club is tearing her down. Funny thing is that just a few hours before she was saying that she will have a break from drinking. I'll support her, but I'm not gonna rob her wallet to make sure she does that, it's her responsibility. And I told her that, and I felt so guilty when I left her there.

I also mailed Shou-nu... told her that I'm ok, going to London and thinking to leave aboard for a year. She answered that she thought that I was ok since I hadn't been messaging... and that she was a bit worried about my studies. (I said that test started 10 minutes ago and that one study diary should have been returned at Friday but that I wont return it...)

But in general I'm proud of myself, Yuki ate at Hesburger - I had coffee, I was hungry at the bar with mustache club - had cola, I came home hungry - I went to sleep. 

COUNTS:

This week: 300 calories (- 200 with walking)

Candy turndown: 15 days (/ 50)

- 1.2 lbs (from -10 till 21st April --> 8.8 to go and 53 days)