Yoga and friend issues

I wanted to strangle Bei yesterday... I'm blaming it all on her again. Well, she's a fucking pig that likes to eat and I figured that it's coming a habit. We binge together. She always binges when she's with me and that's contagious. Well, it's not her fault, I just hate the way she asks me if she can have something  like what a freaking mother I am to tell her if she can have a liter ice cream, 200g chocolate, chips and rice. All that girl eats is carbs and fat... and I am worried.
   That's the one reason I hate her right now. The issue is that I don't want to hurt her so I just shut my mouth and with my feelings pouring I have no self control and I end up binging too... making it also ok for her. I'm such a bad example GOSH!!! I just wanna say to her that she should get a grip and lose some weight because that's not good for her to hide her feelings into food like that, that I'd hate to see her with diabetes or some other issues that brings. Also I'd like to have a friend who doesn't mock herself all the time (by "joking" about her size) and make me feel worse. Cuz by saying she's sorry I have to bare her she's repeating to my mind that I'm not good enough to make her feel little better, it's also like it would be my duty to do that.

I bet it's just that she wants to hear that she's being loved. But I'M NOT her mother, I don't want to be. She looks up to me like that... and I hate it. It makes me feel somehow responsible of her and I hate it. That's why I want to fix her... but we all know is not gonna work like that. Well I'm trying anyway... I wrote a "healthy eating plan" that I'm gonna fake to follow. I hope she catches it. I so hope that. It's kinda loose and gives a lot of freedom but I hope that's the thing that will keep her at it. (Just had to get that out somewhere.)

Me then, I got my own plans that were delayed. Hu was here a night and she's such a darling that I can't even think playing with my food around her. I've known her for 11 years, she doesn't know about my food issues so I had to fake. No huge binges with her... all the anxiety and nerves did blow after I had said good by to her. We had had huge lunch at one of my favorite places so it was the classical the day is already ruined symptom - and I was with Bei the rest of the night who didn't help the case at all. And the frustration of not being able to do my thing....

Now I'm back. Just started my morning with yoga and had breakfast (yogurt with blueberries).
 This is the one I started with...

And this I did 14 minutes since it's like the first time I did yoga... it got a little difficult :DD