Through the Bushes, Dance the thorns off!

How come a perfect morning can turn to be so wrong? How can such a perfect morning whine me up in such hell? How, is ask myself and get no answer. Tatyana darling, it's like you would talk to a stuffed animal; you can imagine all those answers but eventually you have to speak them to hear them. So eventually it's always you there, playing the stuffed animal. How stupid is that? Child's play that went on and on and still wasn't enought to keep me from falling. I have no scale, so I can't measure my happiness. On the other hand I don't even want to know.
   Child's play, first with you tummy that refused to work. It has been like a plain colored balloon I'm trying to cover up to look better. Plain, painful and protesting to my binging - maybe because of my guilt. I don't know. At least I got the punishment I deserved. Waking up at night when I roll on it because it just hurts so bad, sharp pain travelling all over and making me curl up like a little baby. Not only because of the pain - it wasn't that bad. Just the thought that everything I had during my step dad's birthday was still in, everything. The thought of that was more unbearable than the pain in my tummy. I wanted to puke... I thought that I should make a food poisoning to get it out but something told me not to do so. I still wonder what that voice was. Me? Maybe.
   I had a busy weekend. First I visited my cousin and played with her little daughter. Then I got back and my brother was here with his sons (3 and 5)... I played the way I could. In a way these three visiting and staying over were distracting me badly. It seemed like I forgot what the calorie was and what those do to you.

But that is gone now. I recovering the shock I had when moving my things... now I'm more ready to go on again and not to be disappointed. Well I got nothing to be disappointed with... mom's scale is a bitchy liar I'm not gonna use in any circumstances. I'm just dancing today. Dancing it all off and making the world lighter. Making me lighter. Just feeling it, every pulse and enjoying it... I'm planning to do this the whole week.

And Sharing some enjoyment ^^

Katie: <3 Thank you, yoga was surely something worth of trying. ^^ Just need to keep it simple for the start

Stillimagining: Love you too, I'll try to make that happen. I'm just having hard time telling people anything like that. She's gonna be all over me... and part of me is wondering that is this just me and my illness pushing on others. I hope not. :D