I hate doctors! She was nice otherwise but she seemed to worship the company I work in. Or her tone was a bit too respecting... She also looked at my BMI like Hmm... well you do exercise a lot and this doesn't separate muscle from fat. Yes, I know it doesn't.
I also am driven in the insanity of not believing scales. They lie. According to that I would have gained 3 pounds from the two gingerbread I had eaten. I know my head doesn't function like it should, but that insane I'm not. That scale was bullshit. . . nothing wrong with mine of course ^^.
And they did take blood for a analyze it.
I'm scared that they'll find something more. They'll probably call me back like in a second.
I also filled those stupid boxes with numerous illnesses and draw an X even the square of "mental illness". Over all I smiled and was excitedly telling her what I imagine eating every day. She was so easy to drag where I wanted.
Karma kicks back. The student health care called. I have now an appointment with psych. First one since high school and I so hope that she's better than the one in high school. Plus she doesn't know yet about my eating so I can back out. I got the appointment because I had made myself extremely busy and I had a two month gap in my memory due to that.
Now the freaking party.
I don't want to. I just wanna stay home and cry because that fucking scale lied me to be fatter than I am. I don't deserve that food in there... also I know that when I step out of that door and turn this enjoyable I'm gonna bindge... well right now with this feeling even carrot is a bindge.
10.00 an apple, 2 gingerbread and a karelia pasty
14.30 piece of cantaloupe, reindeer with potatoes.... I couldn't help it.
I also am driven in the insanity of not believing scales. They lie. According to that I would have gained 3 pounds from the two gingerbread I had eaten. I know my head doesn't function like it should, but that insane I'm not. That scale was bullshit. . . nothing wrong with mine of course ^^.
And they did take blood for a analyze it.
I'm scared that they'll find something more. They'll probably call me back like in a second.
I also filled those stupid boxes with numerous illnesses and draw an X even the square of "mental illness". Over all I smiled and was excitedly telling her what I imagine eating every day. She was so easy to drag where I wanted.
Karma kicks back. The student health care called. I have now an appointment with psych. First one since high school and I so hope that she's better than the one in high school. Plus she doesn't know yet about my eating so I can back out. I got the appointment because I had made myself extremely busy and I had a two month gap in my memory due to that.
Now the freaking party.
I don't want to. I just wanna stay home and cry because that fucking scale lied me to be fatter than I am. I don't deserve that food in there... also I know that when I step out of that door and turn this enjoyable I'm gonna bindge... well right now with this feeling even carrot is a bindge.
10.00 an apple, 2 gingerbread and a karelia pasty
14.30 piece of cantaloupe, reindeer with potatoes.... I couldn't help it.
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