I'm gonna start blogging again. Moved the old texts away and started to create new ones.
Briefly introduction to me is that I've had an ed since I was 8. Now I'm 21.
I study at university.
I like purple and green and black.
I'm confused with my life right now.
I'm extremely lucky. I have people who I've learned to trust and one of them is monitoring my eating for now and I can't lie to her.
I've called student health care and I'm waiting nicely in line to get to see psych. (And wondering when and why students started to have so much problems that they all need one...)
I'm sarcastic, I watch anime and I'm Asia freak.... I'm also history freak.
I'm going to museum today, but otherwise than that I'm confused with my life. It's nothing new... I'm quite often confused and can't really tell what's going on.
The thing I know is that I ate too much yesterday, even when you look at it from "normal" perspective.
Salmon, potatoes and veggies ~1000 calories in those two portions I ate.
Before that I had semolina porridge ~400 calories.
Not such a good day.
And I was feeling totally numb. Fell in love with this scene of Rika killing herself, even thought that why on earth I didn't figure this out few years ago when I was worse than I'm now. That way I wouldn't need to go through this shit right now... then I asked myself that WTF am I thinking?????
My life isn't that bad. I've got food, I'm quite sane, I'm not continuously depressed, I'm not suicidal - anymore and I've kinda learned to like myself. Yes, I may feel attraction to this miserable dark beauty but can't help it though. I just like blood, pain, black and misery And I Think There's something beautiful in that. I like cute pastel shaded things too, but they are just cute not that beautiful.
--> Museum, coming back later
Briefly introduction to me is that I've had an ed since I was 8. Now I'm 21.
I study at university.
I like purple and green and black.
I'm confused with my life right now.
I'm extremely lucky. I have people who I've learned to trust and one of them is monitoring my eating for now and I can't lie to her.
I've called student health care and I'm waiting nicely in line to get to see psych. (And wondering when and why students started to have so much problems that they all need one...)
I'm sarcastic, I watch anime and I'm Asia freak.... I'm also history freak.
I'm going to museum today, but otherwise than that I'm confused with my life. It's nothing new... I'm quite often confused and can't really tell what's going on.
The thing I know is that I ate too much yesterday, even when you look at it from "normal" perspective.
Salmon, potatoes and veggies ~1000 calories in those two portions I ate.
Before that I had semolina porridge ~400 calories.
Not such a good day.
My life isn't that bad. I've got food, I'm quite sane, I'm not continuously depressed, I'm not suicidal - anymore and I've kinda learned to like myself. Yes, I may feel attraction to this miserable dark beauty but can't help it though. I just like blood, pain, black and misery And I Think There's something beautiful in that. I like cute pastel shaded things too, but they are just cute not that beautiful.
--> Museum, coming back later
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