It's a miracle every time how everything gets easier when I leave from mom's and come home.
Whole day has been cycling around wondering why is it so hard to give any treats to myself, by this I don't mean eatable. But as simple as massage, manicure, foot care... even moisture lotion is almost banned. I guess somewhere there is the thought that I don't deserve it. I'm eating much enough to manage without. Yea right. I'm far from eating normal. Specially because of those pounds I've been unable to shed after summer... and once I got really started Shou-nu had to butt in.
She and our relationship is a long story, not too common and I still don't quite get it why she hangs around. She could just shut me off in Facebook if she wanted, but she doesn't. Not that it would be a problem (I need her and she still is the first person I go to when something is BADLY wrong)... she's pretty much the only one who can read me and tell what's going on. And today I chose to lie to her again... or try it. It not like she's gonna believe any of it anyway. I have the feeling that she doesn't believe any of that shit I've been writing in to her... I love her for cheering me so much and I feel so bad that I did that. She deserves better than this kinda pain in the ass messing around in her life.
What I've really been eating today is:
havre porridge and ½ orange ~180
A banana ~100
Hot&Spicy Chicken vegetable soup ~200
1 canned peach and a kiwi with 5 spoons of non-fat yogurt ~120
And my day's error is 10 (huge) tea spoons of ice cream... and a glass of red wine even I can't really say that it's an error :)
Exercise:
120 abs + 70 each side
poor 20 backs
40 push ups for both sides of hands
And now I'm gonna relax more and stretch
Some of my favorite pictures. I love them because they are so colorful and cute <3
I'm into cute stuff.
Whole day has been cycling around wondering why is it so hard to give any treats to myself, by this I don't mean eatable. But as simple as massage, manicure, foot care... even moisture lotion is almost banned. I guess somewhere there is the thought that I don't deserve it. I'm eating much enough to manage without. Yea right. I'm far from eating normal. Specially because of those pounds I've been unable to shed after summer... and once I got really started Shou-nu had to butt in.
She and our relationship is a long story, not too common and I still don't quite get it why she hangs around. She could just shut me off in Facebook if she wanted, but she doesn't. Not that it would be a problem (I need her and she still is the first person I go to when something is BADLY wrong)... she's pretty much the only one who can read me and tell what's going on. And today I chose to lie to her again... or try it. It not like she's gonna believe any of it anyway. I have the feeling that she doesn't believe any of that shit I've been writing in to her... I love her for cheering me so much and I feel so bad that I did that. She deserves better than this kinda pain in the ass messing around in her life.
What I've really been eating today is:
havre porridge and ½ orange ~180
A banana ~100
Hot&Spicy Chicken vegetable soup ~200
1 canned peach and a kiwi with 5 spoons of non-fat yogurt ~120
And my day's error is 10 (huge) tea spoons of ice cream... and a glass of red wine even I can't really say that it's an error :)
Exercise:
120 abs + 70 each side
poor 20 backs
40 push ups for both sides of hands
And now I'm gonna relax more and stretch
Some of my favorite pictures. I love them because they are so colorful and cute <3
I'm into cute stuff.
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