Ghostly appeal

Recently I've turned into a ghostly blogger. I haven't been around too much which I'm forever guilty for but I haven't had time. And yet, I have all the time in the world. I've been emotionally drained to write anything, even my diary entries consist of single sentences like

"100 calories" 

"Was there" 

"Waiting Yuki" 

"I'm fat".

2 days and I'll be off. I'll find myself getting lost in China, 

Canton the third largest city in China.

I feel like a jelly fish.

Ran was crying and hugging me for the total five minutes, I felt so bad for her. She had just broken up with her boyfriend and lost 30% of her friends because of that, her another friend had left in Japan, she had just gotten out of army and she should start studying again. She was actually begging me not to go. I managed to keep myself together, for her. I'll be back, we'll keep contact, a year is not a long time... it is. If you feel alone and wait for someone.

Yuki was totally different story. Sheng was standing there quiet watching us, I don't know if they were really Yuki's shoes that were about to kill her but she biked rest of the way home and left me with Sheng. Yuki gave me a long hug, I was about to cry this time when she wouldn't let go and told me to stay safe, have fun and get new friends. Then she biked away without turning back, not even a one glance. I know she was crying, but still she had time to wipe away my tears before she jumped on her bike and let hers to come.

Before that we had been dancing crazy on the dance floor and laughing our socks off.

And suddenly they were all gone 9 hugs later, Ran and Yuki the hardest ones, I was driving back to mom's. Tired like hell, thought that the street signs were dancing and jumping on the way dressed in glittery clothes. 

   

How's my ed in the middle all of this? I ask. I swear that I cannot cope with food and yet I had 700 calories yesterday, I was on laxatives because I had eaten like a pig past three days while saying good by to everyone. So it's on... even I haven't updated piggy's challenge. I'm still on.

I should concentrate on packing. Don't want to. I want to see Nana, but I won't. We can't catch up our timetables before I'll go. So sad not to be able to say goodbye.

Dyed my hair black, started wearing black... bought a card game called Gloom. Who said I was a bright persona?