Typical stress post

I can't relax. I got too much things to do, I'm anxious and I have no idea how am I gonna make it. I feel like crashing under everything. Today's costume play and drink moment won't help a bit. Today I don't have any time to spare. First work from there I need to get fast at uni to stand behind selling table till 2 and to run for a lecture and from there I need to run to this evening happening.

I don't know how to explain this evening thing. I've never been in these kinda things before; called Sits. It involves three course meal (no idea how I'm gonna survive with that - the lasagne makes me feel bit panicked already). And it involves also drinks and singing and I assume it's like this huge drinking game kinda thing where you can't control how much you drink eventually. I don't want alcohol. I'm disgusted by it right now. And tomorrow I still should manage to get to work and I still got these zillion thing to do!

I wanna cry. Bad.

And it's not about the lasagne, or it is. I just don't know if I panic more over the calories or the fact that I panic over it. I know I'm transferring m stress on food again. And to add the fact that I know I need to go at mom's... for a month. Did I already say that I wanna cry. This is making me crazy.
 
Stay calm, it's ok, calm, ok, calm, ok...
Did I mention that I didn't lose a single pound for today. Not even though I did a two hour walk with Yuki... why do I even care?
   I tried on a pair of my shorts and I wanted to cry - again. Firstly because all the fat that was pouring every where, secondly I was screaming why I'm doing this, thirdly because I know that's not me. It's this my dear friend who makes me to think and see the the way I did last night. I need to lose these freaking 20 pounds that weigh me down... I'm getting more and more obsessed with this. A wise girl would call GP, me? I'm not wise. In many cases, I'm babling way too much about my anxiety to Yuki... soon I can say straight that guess what, I haven't had anything to eat today!

Food report from yesterday:
(work candy... free bitches)
1 banana, 2 Karelia pasties
A bowl of ice cream with a peach and dough (just keep thinking if I hadn't...)