Massage and protein powder

I've been doing a post about my week in pictures... there's only one problem though. I remember it in the morning but forget it at night. :D So I will do take two and try again Tuesday when I forget it half through the day.

And this week I have no idea about my weight because I didn't go at mom's (and now I realized I need to update my name page because I'm falling behind terribly and always wondering who was who). I'm staying this weekend at Suna's, she was nice enough to let me stay here. I mean my head can't take my dad at the moment and because he's visiting mom's at least once a day it's better if I don't stay there. It was enough that he called me yesterday asking where am I and where is the car. Well, I'm close but the car is in other city because pays twice to come here with that and I have no money for such thing. But sure, I'm bad selfish daughter who wasn't wise enough to know that dad wants that car back and I should be able to guess what he wants. Well, unfortunately couldn't have known that. So now he's playing the victim again letting some noises out that tell me how disappointed he is. I hate when he does that. I mean it's so fucking childish, he has a car to use and he's still like that. Again I feel like pulling my hair out.

But no scale means less obsessing over it. And yesterday I did crash it with sugar and fat... because of that phone call and because I went to see my cousin - so in weight wise. I don't even want to know. Getting tired to be disappointed. Today is a beginning of new week and I don't want to take the quilt from the last week with me. One day is reasonable. It's just the motive I don't like, dad calling and being bitch. I should resist these carvings coming from those because it won't make me feel any better.

Suna is putting the Step up 2 on the machine and sitting  on the floor right before me. She pulls he hair up bearing her neck to me. Her skin is white like latte that got too much milk in it. With the first gentle touch of my fingers I know that her back must hurt good, it's so stiff and hard. Specially her shoulders, muscles are crunching themselves together like they would fall of if they would let go. 
   She's slowly melting down saying that she will sit there as long as I keep going. I smile. No problem for me, I was born with the right technique for this and I can go on for hours. And I like it when people melt down because of my touch, or just simply enjoy it. The movie finishes and I'm still going on thinking that she got a good reward for not eating candy for a week and not munching anything else that's bad for her. I give up after the movie is done, her back needs more than just one hour and little more - maybe next week or the week after. I wrap my hands around her loosely as she says thank you, there's a doubt in my mind that something is going on. Something that she wants to say - I got too, but I don't know how to start it - or that something is about to come to her mind that she doesn't know yet. I'm in the same situation. I'm tipping her about what's up with me but I'm not really telling her anything... and I can't figure out why.
Enough of that, nicer things. I gave Suna a massage yesterday, we watched Step up 2 and I massaged her as long as the movie lasted. Don't ask me how, I'm born with the right technique because my fingers just won't get tired and I can't explain what do I do. Anyway I like it when I can help people l ike that, there's nothing better but to see that someone you love and care about enjoys what you do.

LATER
Then the double edge sword news, my cousin gave me a lot of bread when I visited... and now I've been living on carbs. Making me mentally crazy... but hey, free food. As students many of you know that if you get it like that (and in this case from someone you haven't seen in years and they give you more food than your momo), you will take what you got and work with it.

But the thing I cannot excuse is ice cream.... I had it yesterday after a job interview and well.... I want to pull my hair out like "why did I eat it?" And then later I found out I got two day temp job at a ware house and now it's 5 am, I actually wrote most of this yesterday. I'm going to pack protein powder. How cool is that, my life is making the ice cream stare straight at my face.

Rise and shine, it's new day again!