EDIT: Meat to publish this on Tuesday but I forgot to try again because my VNP got fucked up.
I nearly started crying when my oral Chinese teacher came to me in the hallway and said "hello Tatyana!" Then something about having a lunch... I think she meant that we're both going to have lunch. At class I had suck... seriously even pinyin looked totally foreign and I had no idea what did it mean or how to read it even the sentences were something I should have known. But I no, I was completely zoned out.
It's finally starting to hit me. Homesickness. Or not really... I mean I don't particularly miss Finland it's just that all this is getting soy overwhelming that I'm starting to lose it/can't handle it. Just leaving my 3x3 meter room is a struggle. Right now, I can't even spell in English and I write wrong all the time. I want away from Maya because she's making me so mad... and stealing my time from exercising. I take in languages slowly - or more slow than people usually do (or some languages). Chinese is specially hard because I got nothing to support it with. Totally new system, hard getting the tones and differences... and yet it's so logical and simple that it should be easy.
So yea, I came back from the class and spent fifteen minutes crying on my bed. I feel like I'm not going in foreign trade today. I'm just gonna tune out totally. Have a binge... because I make little things to mammoths. Or maybe I don't binge - that would mean that I have to go outside and buy something to eat - communicate. Maybe I'll go to foreign trade even the class is total joke and shit.
So my problems are getting to me again.
My nature is still in my way.
This is how does the culture shock feels like.
But at least I have a place to go and a place to be. That helps a lot.
Yesterday we went to park with some Chinese and other exchange students and there was this Chinese boy called Je. He's the first one who I can talk to without thinking too much what I say. And I kinda fell in love with his gay voice - and his English, his little "wow that's interesting" historical details. I was quite a lot with him in there... but later at night when I had asked everyone to have a dinner (yes, what an idea :DD) I couldn't sit next to him because Maya put her fat ass between us and so did few other people. So in order to talk to him I had ask rice because the bowl was behind him... can you imagine the situation? Really, I had three bowls of rice just for him! And why the title? Because the dinner cost 21 yuan and because Maya put her fat ass between us not only in dinner but also in the buss on our way back. She went to sit in front, I walked past her and she kinda pulled Je to sit next to her and Je's friend came next to me. And while walking in park Maya was suddenly hugely interested in history when I talked with this guy and she had to cut in our conversation...
Not giving up. That guy is mine.
And my head is making me crazy... now I'm going to go out and to my class, and hopefully be eager to listen and repeat some tones when I get back. The class is best distraction I can ask for at the moment
I nearly started crying when my oral Chinese teacher came to me in the hallway and said "hello Tatyana!" Then something about having a lunch... I think she meant that we're both going to have lunch. At class I had suck... seriously even pinyin looked totally foreign and I had no idea what did it mean or how to read it even the sentences were something I should have known. But I no, I was completely zoned out.
It's finally starting to hit me. Homesickness. Or not really... I mean I don't particularly miss Finland it's just that all this is getting soy overwhelming that I'm starting to lose it/can't handle it. Just leaving my 3x3 meter room is a struggle. Right now, I can't even spell in English and I write wrong all the time. I want away from Maya because she's making me so mad... and stealing my time from exercising. I take in languages slowly - or more slow than people usually do (or some languages). Chinese is specially hard because I got nothing to support it with. Totally new system, hard getting the tones and differences... and yet it's so logical and simple that it should be easy.
So yea, I came back from the class and spent fifteen minutes crying on my bed. I feel like I'm not going in foreign trade today. I'm just gonna tune out totally. Have a binge... because I make little things to mammoths. Or maybe I don't binge - that would mean that I have to go outside and buy something to eat - communicate. Maybe I'll go to foreign trade even the class is total joke and shit.
So my problems are getting to me again.
My nature is still in my way.
This is how does the culture shock feels like.
But at least I have a place to go and a place to be. That helps a lot.
Yesterday we went to park with some Chinese and other exchange students and there was this Chinese boy called Je. He's the first one who I can talk to without thinking too much what I say. And I kinda fell in love with his gay voice - and his English, his little "wow that's interesting" historical details. I was quite a lot with him in there... but later at night when I had asked everyone to have a dinner (yes, what an idea :DD) I couldn't sit next to him because Maya put her fat ass between us and so did few other people. So in order to talk to him I had ask rice because the bowl was behind him... can you imagine the situation? Really, I had three bowls of rice just for him! And why the title? Because the dinner cost 21 yuan and because Maya put her fat ass between us not only in dinner but also in the buss on our way back. She went to sit in front, I walked past her and she kinda pulled Je to sit next to her and Je's friend came next to me. And while walking in park Maya was suddenly hugely interested in history when I talked with this guy and she had to cut in our conversation...
Not giving up. That guy is mine.
And my head is making me crazy... now I'm going to go out and to my class, and hopefully be eager to listen and repeat some tones when I get back. The class is best distraction I can ask for at the moment
Ei kommentteja:
Lähetä kommentti