Rock, rock, rock the Ballet

Rock the ballet, me and Suna went to see that yesterday. Aaaaamaziiiing. Shivers in my back and nearly
tears in my eyes because they were just so good! Brings me back to the moment when I asked mom if I could start ballet... I was around six. She told me I couldn't because I was too fat. And the second reason is the shoes that hurt. I felt so bad after that. I decided to hate dancing because obviously I couldn't dance because... I was too fat. Saddest thing is that when watching pics from that time, I even wasn't fat. I was a normal kid with little round tummy like people with curving back like me usually do have. That was also before I started to binge eat for my feelings I couldn't handle, it made me spiral up with my weight in the end. But you know, it's funny that when you love something, you just can't give it up, no matter what you try to tell yourself. I was insecure to dance if anyone saw me, because I shouldn't dance. But I just couldn't help it. I was still dancing, in the living room when no one was home, in my head while walking down the street... I was always dancing. Now I've come to the point where I understand that anyone can dance. Also that pics look way better when you're not afraid that you'll look ugly but when you have emotion or goofy looking face.

First of June and second week of work almost done. I've basically moved behind the desk and now I need to clean up a little for Wednesday when my supervisor comes in again. Like take the water boiler back to the office and give up on eating behind the desk :D. I've done that in hiding from the customers of course but I have 6 hour shift and because I'm alone, no breaks really. I've been just drinking tea all day long :p

I was planning to start the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred today, but lets face the facts, I still live at Suna's for two days which basically make that impossible. Too long way and nothing heavy enough to do it with. Two days wait and then I'll do it successfully through. Hopefully loose few pounds more and look even better at the end of the summer.
   Then I might be able to capture Suna's mind even more and maybe she'll find her way around this "I suck so bad" attitude. She just needs an example and support, encouragement and someone to say it will be ok. Motivation and new ideas. I don't remember if I mentioned it already but I'm writing her a vacation book. There's four weeks get-to-know-yourself kind of writing tasks which will hopefully give her something to think about. I might actually do it do at least partly... I've changed quite a bit, might do good for me too. To know what I want, wait and wish. (cute, Suna fell asleep on the sofa). She didn't sleep too good because she found two ants walking on her hand... poor thing, hates all kind of insects. I'm the one who goes like "Oh, look! This spider has really thin legs, cooooooolllll!!"
 
Got to run to work now. I'll be back with more news soon. :)
Have a happy day everyone! Love you lots.