Now I've figured out why I didn't see Nam at all during the holidays here... she was mad at me. Over a FB message I didn't reply to - and yes, she still lives 8 meters away from me, so if it was that important she could have just come to knock on my door. But I've been sensing it for days now, the displaced anger, so at least now she had somewhere to place it to. Well I have to say that I just really don't care because I had an amazing holiday and she can't do a thing to erase that... and maybe I'm just plain stupid or something but I really don't even know how to be insulted or feel hurt by that because I think it's just so stupid. Like 8 meters, unreplied FB message and she's blaming me for the fact that her Songkran went sleeping even though our Thai friends were going. I'm really sorry but this is too stupid that I could blame myself for it.
I've been a lot with Sparkle because I'm doing the open water diving course at the moment (her husband does those and she has been there too) and that's amazing. Second thing amazing was Friday night, me and Sparkle met up with K and G to do a one song zumba show - I had trained the song once, didn't remember the choreo at all but no one noticed that. The dinner we had after that... AMAZEBALLZ.
"Are you going to sleep at Sparkle's again like on Tuesday?" She asks as me and Sparkle share the stroganoff we ordered in two plates and tug into our shared tacos.
"Maybe not... or who knows what happens when we leave here... but I really think of going home tonight"
"What did you do on Tuesday?" K asks and I glance at Sparkle.
"Well... we went to a salsa-party and from there we ended up talking until 4 am," I say. "Yea, we stopped at Maipeng on the way - those two (she nods towards Angel and Mynth) were also supposed to come but they broke their motorbike on their way to Patong... so we went just two of us and really we were just talking the whole night."
I can see the machines rolling in K's and G's head; they talk late, they came with same motorbike, they're doing choreos together, they share their food, they drink the same things...
Pretty much all I was able to feel that night was commitment, good, caring and belonging. This trio Sparkle, K and G are amazing ladies with talent and I believe and hope they'll rock this island like they have been planning. My heart will be with them even when I'm not physically here and I will be back, fucking will, just watch me! Because it's thanks to them I believe in myself again and that I can do zumba.
You guys... by far I've been writing this post for three days. No it's not hard, I'm just so busy that I have no time to sit down anywhere and finish this. Now it's Monday again and I should see Nam for good, we have our project and I just pretty much want to go somewhere else than she goes. She's so fucking ridiculous that I'm almost insulted because she couldn't figure out any real reason to get mad... but I'm not her fucking tour guide and definitely not responsible for her experiences. Yesterday just before leaving the bar I said this to Sparkle and her face was worth of seeing. I bet anyone's face is worth seeing after that story... because I can tell that my face was full of WTF when Nam answered my question about her holidays, her voice was so uptight that you could have play a violin with it. ... ... and today I should go with her to a project, and she's just the type of a person that she forgets stuff like that quickly and becomes your best buddy again - and I'm so fucking sorry but it just doesn't work that way. Not for me.
Forget about Nam, yesterday was fucking amazing.
"No I didn't, but..." I sit down next to her. "what happened?" She tells me the broken computer, printer and not syncing Ipod things I knew already, so something else happened after I left her house at midnight but she just doesn't want to think about it.
Later we with Angel and Mynth leaning to the glass wall and looking at pouring rain. We don't want to drive in the rain and get wet. I cut a shirt with scissors I've been drawing to get the look done for it, Angel is joking about something with Sparkle and Mynth is laughing a lot. I could be worse, we're stuck in a paradise beach club and staring to the open water - hunger is the only thing that bothers us.
20 minutes sitting and finally we dare to drive to the nearest food place. Again my plate is exactly like Sparkle's... we really share not only the same vision for zumba but also same taste buds and same attitude about life and drinking.
Panang curry, chicken and chinese vegetables and rice. The first meal on that day at 1 pm... and they started to talk about some Belgian archaeologist that Angel knows and they say he would be a perfect match for me. I have to admit that he sounds fucking interesting type and is relatively good looking. Like shit... is this how it happens, I travel on the other side of the world and some random people who I've just gotten to know are going to match me up with a guy who lives like 1000 km away from where I do? How hideous scenario this is? Not what I had planned at all, but I have to say that this seems to be tempting... ... ... and I was the one who said that I wouldn't marry an archaeologist ever. And now I'm seriously thinking it even without meeting the guy in person xD.
Tummy full of food we had theory for diving, we were lying on the floor taking a nap and had some more theory.
7/11 and a secret beach. sun going slowly down behind us and meal number two (pawn dumblings and nuts). Quite amazing, huh? Angel took the panorama picture of that beach and I have to say this is beautiful.
In the dark I follow Sparkle with my motorbike, it's the first time in long time when we're moving with two bikes instead of one. I wish that my hair would dry even a little because right now it's dripping water on my back and it feels gold.
We arrive at Office, see where Angel sits with Wale and go there. Sparkle orders, I pay for us and again we're drinking the same thing, Samsong. Wale tries to be a gentlemen, last time he tried to hit me but he got the message straight and clear that I'm not his type, but anyway he ordered to all of us some shots. And I knew I was driving drunk (one shot and 1,5 samsong so not that drunk, just that you could say that I was) when we left. Oops. I never do that! I never drive drunk! But Thailand is out of the planet, here I do... just like everyone else does. But the how, where and how fast I drive is up to me and I can tell you, I kept it safe for everyone around me.
Next place is empty, there's only us and we can own the dance floor. Me and Sparkle jump on the poles and try ti figure out how the dancers make the moves. Flashing lights just for us laughing and going crazy and now running only with water power. I love Sparkle because she doesn't need alcohol to dare to be crazy and neither do I.
Wale trying our arms after we came down. "You got some muscle here girl" he says to Sparkle. Then he tries my arm, "Sparkle is all muscle but holy fuck... girl, you got power! How much do you lift? 100 kg?"
"Haven't tried, but don't think 100 kg, maybe 60 kg" At least I managed to create an identity crisis for a young Thai boy at the gym when I grabbed 8 kg to do my hand reps and he had 4 kg.
"You want something?" Angel asks, me and Sparkle both shake our heads, no we have water and we're dancing. We take zips from the bottles we have while Angel and Wale sit little further away from us.
"Maybe this was just a good thing..." I say, "...I mean I got the social psych project tomorrow and I really don't know if I can stand Nam. She got mad at me..." and when I say why, Sparkle doesn't get it either. She was looking at me eyes open "...some people surely are weird..."
Thank you girls for all of your comments, hugs. I get back to you better when I can write a post within one day :D
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