Someone please stop the time...?

I'm speechless. My last weekend was again too amazing. A lot of those moments that you will remember.

"Good morning!" smile from Sparkle's bed when I come out of toilet. "should we lie down a bit, not to go to make the coffee yet:" I smile back at her and crawl on her bed, right next to her where her husband usually is. I can't remember when was the last time I spent my morning like this with someone - or that I didn't just ignore my feeling to go there next to her, thinking that it would be inappropriate. It was long time ago, I know we have picture where I'm relaaaaaxing with dad... but I can't remember it myself - there was always that weird stigma related in my parents bed. It was like the forbidden area where you had to with sneaky attitude or otherwise you were kicked away. 
   I felt so safe, calm and wanted to stay there forever. Like the edges of the had sealed all the evil things outside of us and our world would have been full of butterflies, colors and peaceful noises. 

Together and together with really cool people... so cool that I was able to put back my eating issues, totally away - also because these people don't have the tendency to eat all the time or hang around food, if you know what I mean. And mostly I've been just drunk during that weekend - and the thing I do admire about Sparkle is that even though a little drunk, she won't go to get nearest junk food paradise's meals. So I can trust her in that sense, I don't need to worry and be alert that someone would take something triggering or make a number about eating.

Then also... this annoys me so much. Teacher M, now I feel like I'd be fighting with my mom or something, we have this project in her class and due to timetable reasons, she had to put it now on today (Saturday), well I've promised ages ago to Sparkle that I would do this Aqua Zumba song with her which requires two instructors and since we're only two qualified on this island, I really don't have an option. My school team can make a presentation without me, easily. So I said to her that I have this thing... "Tatyana... I know it's important to you, but that's just a one event and the presentation is the difference between A and B for you!" I said I know. I'm not doing these courses to get As - I'm not doing any courses to run after points like crazy and to get As - actually I hate it how easily M gives points and extra points... I'm not a dog running after a bone. And then she tried the "you're failing your team!" - card which is way out of line for me. Even though she's nice, really nice, and lovely and caring and amazing - I was so hurt. Not to mention that "I'm so disappointed"
   First of all, like I said, I'm not running after As and really what's the difference between A and B from an exchange year? Furthermore when the reason is something like this, I'm happy to take the B because I know that in reality it's an A and it won't make my work any less. It's not like one single course is going to give me a job, this event might. The course won't let me to find any new contacts, this event will. And I'm also going to have fun... much more fun than on the class room. So give me one good reason to decide otherwise.

Yea, I was nearly in tears when I went for Sparkles' class after that. But I think M will apologize or at least
say something... I've been thinking this a lot and she might be just little too over far over the top with her process, I don't know. But there's something in this relationship that doesn't feel quite right. I'm not saying that there would be something wrong with her, not like that, or that I didn't like her and value her advice, I do. But can I say that she's my friend? I don't know... the only things I really know and combine us is the problems I have and things she has gone through. Other than that, I don't know... I just like and respect her and somehow find it weird how she's holding onto me. Like when I went to the class, she was inviting me to go to Bangkok with her. I have exams, so I can't (and I just don't like the place that much, it's ok for few days but anything longer than a week is no no no)... but she really didn't note that. She also mixes up all kind of little things, like thinks that we're from Sweden or something. So these kinda add the discomfort... also I find it really, I don't know how to describe this, disturbing in a way how she talks about her past in the class. I would never be that open to people. Seriously I might be too young to understand that or something but still the way she talks about my mother resembles the time when I was fifteen... and she always has an advice that indicates how she knows better. And no matter what she says, we're totally different.

Sparkle is looking at me and Angel the real sorry in her eyes, she's torn up inside between us and another friend she hasn't seen for a long time. We tell her to go, have a dinner with her "of course! We manage it here, we have one motorbike, go!" And as soon as she left by smiling that well, if we find something, it's ok to by it, we see it. A dress that has white lace on top and black under, it's almost sleeveless, the sleeves are black, but cut open on top of the shoulders, so not really sleeves. It's a perfect and tight hourglass shape, coming to the half-thigh and we can't help thinking how good it will look on Sparkle. We buy it, just because it's way too amazing to be left alone. 
   Hours later, few drinks and drunk driving we go to Sparkle's house around 1 am and call her to come open up. And like little kids we pull out the dress and when she puts that on... like wow, I hoped for a second that she would be lesbian, have no husband and that I could have her. Just wow. With that body (fit, all muscle) it was so fucking hot and amazing looking that I don't know any other person in her age who could wear that. So we sit down all dressed up and talk until four.. next morning about half eight I crawl again next to Sparkle. She was sleeping her lace dream on her and I just kept smiling in my mind at that. Birds singing, perfect morning before the coffee and so calm atmosphere. And somewhere there I realize that I couldn't think about my life without her anymore. 

The rhythm of salsa is filling air as we walk in. Cinnamon should be there somewhere, but she's not yet... coming later she says with her daughter and her husband. Me and Sparkle sit really close to each other, drink our little mojitos, dance couple of times and at some point Cinnamon arrives. Her daughter is running around, she's running around until the beats of reggaeton break the salsa. We enter as ourselves all three of us and start doing our thing, people in their fancy dresses that made me feel little self conscious as I admired their dance stop to watch. They try to mimic, Sparkle takes time to teach, Cinnamon keeps it simple and I just go, simple but complex at the same time. later Sparkle promotes new customers for her self as they compliment us and ask what the heck was that... this is what I've been missing, owning the dance floor like that but not showing off. Showing off is not my style, I just enjoy for it and cheer no matter what others do.

Sad thing is that it's almost time for me to go back. 16 days left here and they're occupied with exams for the most part. Diving again on Tuesday and on 12th I have my last exam. Then I'm rushing to work and having a break on 28th... like wow. Someone please stop the time and let me stay forever.