"On your marks..."

I don't know what to say, somehow it feels like my life has stopped again. I'm stuck in Hua Hin couple more days, my godfather is coming here today and I just really don't want to see him - or his wife. I'm at this state where I just want to slip back to my ed (I can't, there's too many people who'd kill me if I did) and I haven't stepped on a scale. Because I just keep telling myself that my life starts at Phuket, that's where I'll make wise food choices, exercise and get my life in order. It's the same thing and feeling that I had with China. And let me tell you that would have been totally possible if most of my time wouldn't have gone with fighting against negativity and the feeling that I did something wrong when I wasn't doing what Maya wanted. And still on the side I needed to deal with the Chinese and everyone else. That was just an impossible situation... and I so wish that people in Phuket are different.

So this means that I'm finally getting my strength back and starting to believe that I can really make it. That I can change my life for good this time. (and same time I've lost my count that how many new beginnings I've had with this)

And my visa matters are also clearing up. On 30th I'm flying to Singapore to apply it and on 9th I'm flying to Phuket to find a place to live. And then I can sit back and relax when I try to find my internship place for the summer... really getting a job from Thailand, working in Thailand? That's like... I never believed I'd be doing this stuff for real!! Right now, I cannot fit my clothes but again I have the energy to do something about it and maybe within few months this situation will be totally different. <3 also="also" far...="far..." go="go" not="not" p="p" sane="sane" stay="stay" to="to" too="too" trying="trying">