Sunny Christmas

Merry Christmas to all of you! 

I'm at the moment in Hua Hin, Thailand... and my mental state is much better since my last post. I'm not falling apart anymore that bad - partly that is because my godfather is not here. He and his wife are still in Bangkok, but they'll be coming here soon. I'm scared of that moment... somewhere in the back of my head I know that it's going to hurt. I'm scared that it'll revoke something again because I visited really low and now I need to take it easy. It just sucks if I let my ed to ruin my exchange year. I just hope that people in Phuket are little bit more sensible and not so teens. Like I wish that there's not same things happening as there was with Zhu and E. And that there's no such person as Maya. And that I could live with those people in peace and that they wouldn't mess my head too much. No judging, ok? I don't want to do something, then I won't. And if I don't like to be in big groups, it doesn't mean that I'm weird and anti social. Just know that, and it doesn't make me weird if I don't drink with people I don't know well. I just want to be sure that people are really capable taking care of me.
 
And I'm also stressed out because of the visa things. I don't know if I can get my thai visa in Thailand or do I need to go out of country. Information is so mixed that it makes me crazy... I'm prepared to go to Singapore to get it, it's the only place with sensible directions how to do it. But now I need to wait answer from the international office from Phuket - not knowing makes me crazy.
   I got also two new friend from here - or more like hang out buddies. They're also Finnish, other one at 50's and other one at 70's and their main focus in here is to have sex with as many thai women as possible and drink. They're not really my favorite company but they'll do as there's no one else. At least they're positive which tells a lot about our group in China if two alcoholics are better and more healthy company than they're. Because even if these two are troubled in a way, they know how to live in the moment and appreciate people. They respect me for who I am, not because I've been somewhere or because I can do something they can't. Remember guys that you all deserve people around you who love you and respect you.

Now my lovelies, go to night sky and kiss the stars to grant one wish!
Merry Christmas!