Tat says hi :)

Nice to come back and notice that so many of you are getting back here too :). Made my morning today and i had to start writing with my phone. There's two things in me that won't change: my love for strong morning coffee and my love fir blogs.

Sorry my disappearance. Issues, like normal. Issues and issues which really aren't issues. Within all of this i am really happy, but also unsure and i feel like i need to find a way to meet myself again. I'm a little bit lost. I have amazing possibilities falling on my lap, still it requires a lot of work and it makes my head dizy to think that i might be shooting for an academic career i thought to be hard and almost impossible. One thing I've decided though... next autumn i will be in China again. I'm going there to write my master's thesis and to get away from here.

Don't know how to write about my current situation without sounding like totally desperate and like this would be bad... it's not that bad. Actually things are as good as they could be in thus situation. Like some of you know Finland is a good country an supports its students with money. There's a one problem though, it's not enough to live with and if you do some arrangements to make it enough they will cut it off. Like me.... I'm illegaly living with my friend because i have no apartment.  I've noted that i live with my parents which will automatically cut almost half of that money wether they support me or not. There's also limitations on how many months you can get it. I have 16 left meaning that it can support me only next year. There's also limits on how much you can work if you take the money which makes it imposdible to have more than 1100 euros a month, if you take study loan, its 1500 a month max. Only few people get that much and when your rent is easily 400-600 or more euros, milk costs nearly 1 euro and if you really squeeze you wallet, cry in the grocery store because you have no afford to things you would actually like or not be stuffed with chemicals you can manage with 100euros a week. Then add all the notebooks, pens and stuff you need to study... not even the material in all uni classes is free let alone excursions. You also need clothes to wear.... it's not too easy.

And this is supposed to be such a great country... still it's so easy to fall out of the system. I get nothing because i have no apartment.  My money will run out in November. I'm living with my friend in the same apartment i was with Aya last year. This is really China style 21 square meters for two of us. This it's Bei here with me. It's tiring and it's fun... but either way I'm oast the point where i would worry about anything. I just have to believe i will survive and everything is going to be ok. I've survived from worse things than society trying to smoke me out. Finally i have reason to go and possibility to do that permanently.