Summer Heat in My Bubble

"She got the sense that their time together was valuable, as thought she needed to hold on to every minute as if it was the last." (Cecialia Ahern, If You Could See Me Now)

In this world nothing lasts forever I think. I made a mistake, bad mistake. I happened to read the news and came to the same conclusion again; I'm not hungry and this world is sick. Or the reporters are blood thirsty vampires... or someone else is and they're just exaggerating things and making it all seem worse. How pathetic am I, threre's no way I could be a grown up and read the paper on the table with my morning coffee - If I did, I would be sick all the time, sad most of my day and wanting to shoot someone for letting all those people die. I wish I could fix it all. I wish I could fix it without shooting anyone... but I guess I can't. I shouldn't read the news. That gets me way too emotional and unsafe. Don't break the bubble, don't break the bubble, just what ever you do don't break the bubble...

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The sun has been crazy around here. So burning hot that everything seems to melt including me. Ice cream has been y favorite food lately and I've failed to go to the gym. I just got to the point where it didn't feel fun anymore and this is soon the second week I haven't stepped my food from those doors. Today I maybe would have liked to do so but I got too many things in my mind now... (lame excuses)... I need to move because the lease for this apartment is going to become to the end. Last month I will be living at my mom's - hating the thought already because I need to go to work for two hours one way. I'm going to be so tired and have time for nothing.
   But anyway I've enjoyed the summer this time. Still keeping at it couple of days before hitting the August and getting on it for real. And I haven't been a total slacker - I've been walking that 10 000 steps every day, some days even double that. Monday me and Suna went to do a lil biking trip. It ended to be 71 km in the end... shopping, swimming and light eating - that was a well spent free day. Today and tomorrow I'll need to get my stuff ready, wash laundry and get this room in order. Maybe I'll hit the gym at night today... I think I will take the stuff with me and try to figure out some plan how to eat next month to get of the pounds I've gained - just a couple of kilos, not much. And I assume that's going to be off quite soon so no worries about it. To be honest, I feel a little failed and worried but I'm doing my best to convince myself that it all tasted good and that all that made my summer way more nicer and cooler than it would have been if i hadn't shaked it a lil.

Me and Suna did another Tallinn visit, this time spending the night in a spa. Unfortunately though it was done for the people who like saunas and not the splash in the water types like us. But we made the best of it, I also see the changes again and that makes me smile. Last night she was tickling me gently, like people do when they want your attention. "I had a really good day today" she said to me. It's hard to get that out of her, she doesn't use those kind of expressions usually it's just blank, shoulder move or twisting lips "idk, it was a day" - kind of answer. Now she said it without asking, and she emphasized it more. She also bought colorful undies to replace blacks, she has started to ask herself sometimes "why couldn't I?" and realized she could wear a skirt without leggings to work. Someone remind me of that when I next time am sad about the situation she's in. I had a good day too, really good day actually. It was nice to take her to a new record by biking... mine is still 102 km that's almost 20 km more than she did before, I can't tell how proud I am.

There was huge gray stairs filling the sky. It was a place where you could have filmed some weird scifi movie with titel "After third world war". Only life you could see on them seemed to be some nearly dying greenish mosh and bubble headed street lamps. To me it looked like some after bombin pyramid, it was huge what ever it was. Secret base, I'm sure there was tunnels underneath because there clearly was a hole between two house sized stair rows rising up to the sky. I'm sure it was a labyrinth like structure which would smell really bad but was a home to my superhero who was fleeing the society. 
   Walking the first set of stairs I looked down beside the rail. There it was between the two high stone walls, hidden from the site. The place where bicycle taxis gathered - don't you agree. If the bicycle taxis gather somewhere it has to be a place for secret society under ground?
   On the top the view was amazing with the sun going down to sleep behind the sea. I jumped on the fence, this place would have been the dream of every challenge looking parkour guy. Didn't seen any though, maybe this was some crazy black area for aliens to pick up supplies. Who knew. 
My friend jumped up too, shadows reflecting on the stony roof below us. I wondered what part of the mysterious harbor structure was that and based on the shattered glass there had been people drinking. Maybe there's battles related to this place, maybe that glass was a sign along those graffiti paintings that this was someone's territory. I dunno but I decided to pick a side randomly and took a photo with something in the background. Life is about random decisions in quick moments, they take you to the adventure you never dreamed of. The kind of adventure you had no idea could happen to you, so I'm waiting for that.
My adventure with the graffiti.

 Maybe, just maybe I'm ok, surviving and maybe I can fix it all.