One more time

The fire is dancing in the dark, we listen the sounds and jump so much that the candle holders fall down. It brings flash backs from the last summer and I feel the chills going along my spine. The guilt of too much sweets and buns are burning my insides and in the silence I swear to make a change. To work for what I want... it's just the island that swallows me. In there the promises that I make for the outside world won't hold. It's totally own world with own thing, rules that won't apply for the real world - it's a dream where you can eat what ever you want without thinking too much. Just by accident. Too many donuts, buns and way too much coffee. 

The fire is whispering secrets. I see a romance forming except these two need little help. They're young and shy but there's something there... day later the girl is forgetting to start doing the dishes because she's dreaming about the boy. I ask her if she's planning to go home tonight or not and she panics and begs me to tell more about this boy; how he can be such a extraordinary guy? I say that I don't know much more about him but that she should find out herself.

I hit my head again, I have no idea how many times I had met the black pole with huge "klong!" voice. Many. I should learn by now that in an old ship the roof is lower and you will hit your head if you won't be careful. We sit in the small kitchen and eat the over left bread from the island. 
We smile and think how fucking amazing this is, we're sleeping in a ship - and this morning no one of us knew that it could happen. That we would go to the night cruise or that we would sleep in that ship or that we would eat breakfast on the morning shift to the island and see Cat, Oota and Ishi one more time before they left back their home. 

At night I hear Aya and Dou fighting again. They've been fighting a lot - at least once a day. It's really hard to live like that being totally dependent on someone and when Aya loves her freedom, it's explosive combo. It's as bad as it's good. I hope it will ease up a little after a while.

Now we have suicide trisome in that one room apartment... that's like WOW. In a way (I feel like a horrible friend saying this) I just hope that Dou would move away soon so that we could get little more room and time together. But there's no way I would have taken only Aya in and said Dou goes under the bridge or what ever... of course he comes. I just wish that they would get it quick fixed so that we could be together with Aya and actually talk through what we need to talk through. There's a lot of stuff like that.

Now I got my last days in the leprosy island and then I'm done with my work here. Can't wait. Here I am... thinking about yesterday and how I felt like I'm just where I need to be when I was sitting with Cat, Oota, Aya and Dou and having a cup of coffee.

I'll post more later. But right now my feelings are that I'm fucking fat and that I should go get this arse moving. One more time. One more time in this island, one more time when I need to kick myself on the butt and one more time when I need to check what I put in my mouth.