Ehhh...? But there's this so famous BUT. I have an excuse, I always have an excuse. I tuned out so totally because Ran and Bei came here. Can you imagine, they CAME HERE!! They flew from the other side of the world to China just to see me.
Of course I didn't care what I ate.
Of course I couldn't care.... and of course it turned out to be too much. I enjoyed my time with them; teasing Bei about her poor navigation skills, doing stupid things in metro, shopping and drinking hell a lot of coffee. And too much food, bad food, so so bad, bad, bad food.
Now the scale is my biggest enemy. I don't dare. I really don't... I'm scared that I'll break the biggest fatty numbers again and that I'll just curl up in my bed and want to die. That's not how I want to spend my time in China; hiding in this 3mx3m sized box and trying to be happy. No, I need to pick up where I stopped - right from the beginning with numbers but I was doing good, so I can bring it on again. Little harder this time, I need to push it more to repay this week of joy and happiness with fun and games.
I'm skipping the Chinese law lecture at the moment... it's interesting, don't get me wrong but now I'm not in the mood really. I'm still floating in some really weird happy-land where everything is so light and bright, new and amazing. Bei fell in love with this place, it might be that she's coming here next year... I'd be so happy if she did because I could come back here also. And how amazing would that be?
But yea, time to make a plan for this week and get it to work... this is going to be really rough week in terms of getting insane but I really need to be on beach proportions in Phuket next spring. It's insane that I'm working for the beaches in October. But first I need to learn to say no for the unhealthy stuff people stuff their face with and learn the portion control.
So first rule; cut out half of the rice they put in.
Goal number one; go to sleep hungry. ... ... ... and actual dream land instructions; eat only 3 real meals in a week. Let others be "fake" - do not eat. (and my head is telling me that this plan is set to fail.)
And you're maybe wondering what's going on with that boy... haven't heard from him. But I also did figure out that I'm crushing every other Chinese in here. That's new, I never look for people like "Ok, I could fuck him/her" and get all in love for flashing second. That's not me, I don't know myself at the moment and clearly I'm looking for some sort of compensation for something. It's like I'm turning to this girl who goes around screaming "love me". I'm happy I haven't ended up having sex with any of those guys I've "crushed on" but anyway... this is so weird.
Of course I didn't care what I ate.
Of course I couldn't care.... and of course it turned out to be too much. I enjoyed my time with them; teasing Bei about her poor navigation skills, doing stupid things in metro, shopping and drinking hell a lot of coffee. And too much food, bad food, so so bad, bad, bad food.
Now the scale is my biggest enemy. I don't dare. I really don't... I'm scared that I'll break the biggest fatty numbers again and that I'll just curl up in my bed and want to die. That's not how I want to spend my time in China; hiding in this 3mx3m sized box and trying to be happy. No, I need to pick up where I stopped - right from the beginning with numbers but I was doing good, so I can bring it on again. Little harder this time, I need to push it more to repay this week of joy and happiness with fun and games.
I'm skipping the Chinese law lecture at the moment... it's interesting, don't get me wrong but now I'm not in the mood really. I'm still floating in some really weird happy-land where everything is so light and bright, new and amazing. Bei fell in love with this place, it might be that she's coming here next year... I'd be so happy if she did because I could come back here also. And how amazing would that be?
But yea, time to make a plan for this week and get it to work... this is going to be really rough week in terms of getting insane but I really need to be on beach proportions in Phuket next spring. It's insane that I'm working for the beaches in October. But first I need to learn to say no for the unhealthy stuff people stuff their face with and learn the portion control.
So first rule; cut out half of the rice they put in.
Goal number one; go to sleep hungry. ... ... ... and actual dream land instructions; eat only 3 real meals in a week. Let others be "fake" - do not eat. (and my head is telling me that this plan is set to fail.)
And you're maybe wondering what's going on with that boy... haven't heard from him. But I also did figure out that I'm crushing every other Chinese in here. That's new, I never look for people like "Ok, I could fuck him/her" and get all in love for flashing second. That's not me, I don't know myself at the moment and clearly I'm looking for some sort of compensation for something. It's like I'm turning to this girl who goes around screaming "love me". I'm happy I haven't ended up having sex with any of those guys I've "crushed on" but anyway... this is so weird.
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